Prayer of Husband and Wife

  O God, Michael and I want to live our life together with you and always to continue with you. Help us never to hurt and never to grieve each other.

  Help us to share all our work, all our hopes, all our dreams, all our successes and all our failures, all our sorrows and all our joys. 

  Help us to keep no secrets from each other so that we may be truly one. Keep us always true to each other, and grant that all years ahead may draw us ever closer to each other.

  Grant that nothing happen may ever come between us and nothing may ever make us drift apart. And as we live with each other , help us to live with you, so that our love may grow perfect in your love, for you are the God whose name is love.

  This we ask for your love's sake. Amen.

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The Solemnisation Of Marriage  

The History of You and I...

This is the man whom I met in 2007 on 29th September. It was on my sister's engagement day. He was late on that day. So, 29092007 was the first time that we saw each other. By that time, frankly speaking, we didn't know each other names and smiles were our first greeting. The meeting was a one-off only. Right after my sister's engagement, I heard a lot about this guy. Styles, jokes, and kindness just to name a few. It was not me who wanted to know about him purposely, just that I always be somewhere with the people who talked or mentioned his name. I laughed a lot when people quoted his jokes. He is a natural joker. He looks serious, but actually he is a great joker who is able to make I laugh with tears rolling down my reddish cheeks.

 Months towards the end of 2007 were more to an experience knowing him. Sometime we talked to each other via my sister's hp because he phoned to my bro-in-law. I didn't know why must we chipped in through others' phone number. I still remember when he asked about meals and I asked him to belanja me with 2 plates of kolomee heheheee....It was Morris and Lenny's wedding day at Batu 9 longhouse. I attended the wedding with my parents as Lenny is my mum's cousin sister-in-law. He was there too, but it was nothing to do with me. I didn't care of his presence at all. When he sang a karaoke song, my bro-in-law and the fiancee told me that he was singing there. Why must people tell me about him when he has nothing to do with my life. Don't you feel funny when people keep on reminding you about someone? Next occasion in Batu 9 that i ever attended was Maria and Romeo's wedding day. I met him again but we didn't talk at all. As usual, smiles were the only greeting that we could give to each other. He offered his help to accompany us to have our dinner as we arrived after the dinner time. By this time, I could feel something weird or something fishy. Benjamin (bro-in-law) is somehow a teaser too even though he is a bit serious. I would never forget when Ben said "Nya Mok, nya cikgu deh. Bejaku aaarrr...lagi nanya ari telepon aku aja dk ila" (Mok, that is the teacher. Go and talk to her. Otherwise you will keep on asking me about her via my phone later). Oh my God...what a statement! I was shy at all because there were other people with us that time. I didn't dare to look at him. I could feel he was shy too, so he walked to the kitchen. Cover malu kot hhehee...My mum asked about it actually that night, just that I pretended to ignore her doubt.. However, I didn't feel irritated at all. Why? I don't know. Next encounter was while we had our minum-minum occasion at ruai. There were a group of 'squids' attending the wedding ceremony - they were the bride's friends. I didn't know what had triggered my shyness. I was next to him and challenged him to dance with the 'squids'.That was not brave of me but I did it!!!! Idiot! But gossip about us had already on air before that. Yet, it didn't bother me at all. Why? I didn't know why but I made a conclusion from the gossip maybe because both of us were too cute to be paired of hehehee. He sent me few sms-es but were not replied. I was too full with ignorance! There are reasons behind all my ignorance. It happens when you are afraid of being hurt emotionally. :) His sms-es were only answered started on 3rd January 2008 (Sunday 6.30pm)...This was the beginning of our relationship. Too sweet to be remembered. But I love to remember it.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word...

Frankly speaking, it is very hard for me to start my so-called diary writing today. I feel so emotional and whenever he hugs me, my tears rolling down my cheek. Even when I type this post now, I can feel the drizzling tears on my cheek. I am very lucky for he is here with me.

Misunderstanding in a relationship is not a new issue in one marriage. No matter how perfect is your marriage, there will be times where you and your partner may come to some misunderstanding. Be it due to financial, social life or jealousy. Undeniable misunderstanding. Everyone hopes not to have this misunderstanding in his or her marriage as it influences the feeling and emotion. But, we are only flesh and blood. Misunderstanding in a marriage is part and parcel of the life. It is an experience from an experiment! Yes, an experiment. I feel it is an experiment especially in the early years of the marriage. This is the stage where both of the partner start to show the true colors of each other. The true colors here do not mean something negative, you may look at the colors positively. So each one of us does have the true colors in our self. It is only the matter of what colors that you have in you and how the colors are significant to you.

Of  ten months becoming husband and wife, I slightly realized that marriage is a tough and challenging task for both of us. But, do not misunderstood my statement here! What i mean with challenging is when we have our own true colors and we have to adapt ourself with that colour so that misunderstanding can be avoided. It's not easy but this is what marriage reality offers us as husband and wife.

Forgive and forget are very important in dealing with misunderstanding in our marriage. Learning to forgive is not easy as we are born with ego. Some people say that ego is our pride.No matter what the definition is, acquiring the to-forgive skill is very vital in a relationship. To forgive is when you have to say sorry and feel sorry at the same time. We can't forgive by saying it only - merely saying it in order to let people know that you are kind for you have forgiven someone. Sometime we could not make our sincere sorry because we don't want the matter to get worse. But this is not forgiving. The recurrence of misunderstanding is at a high possibility when we forgive by mouth only and not from the heart. To feel sorry is when you have to regret with all your wrongdoings towards someone. Next is to forget. People say that what ever moments you have experienced, they will be your living memory.  

I am so sad now. I really want to cry. I feel that I really want to cry. It hurts me a lot. Is God telling me about this person's true colors?

What would you feel when someone who is important in your life hurt you? Is this part of a revenge?

I try to accept your words with open heart and mind. I just let it be the way you want it to be. I am fine with this. Go ahead with that.

L.I.N.D.A

L

LOYAL, LOVING, LOVEABLE

  I

IMPRESSIVE, IMAGINATIVE, INTRINSIC

 

N

NATURAL, NEAT, NOVICE

 

 

  D

DELIGHTFUL, DEVOTED, DYNAMIC

 

 

A

ACTIVE, ADMIRABLE, ADVENTUROUS

 

  L.I.N.D.A

16.03.1982

Piscesian

 

 

Drama of the day.

Setting

20101007 (Thursday)

12.10pm-12.50pm

Classroom Form 5

Crowded

Characters

Teacher

31 students

Today's lesson was well-prepared and carried out perfectly as it had been planned. Students' participation demotivated me at all. Some were very responsive and some were giving me their polka-dots face. Some were on the ways to 'heaven' - slumbering. At this moment I really wanted to burst my tears. I could feel all the hard work is not paid off when only few who were interested listening to your explanation.The rest were happy entertaining their own hobbies - talking and playing.

"Class, I have to be frank with all of you. It is not my intention to put more stress to your life or pressure to your hectic schedule as excellent students. I have to mention this to all of you because I care of you. But I know, who am I to care of you? We are not brothers or sisters. But I can't deny myself from taking care of you all because I love all of you. I want all of you to be able to become a whole person in the future. SPM is around the corner! Please appreciate all the efforts given by your teachers. They want you to get flying colors in your coming exam. Please stop entertaining your sleepy eyes. You don't have enough time to play around and study at the eleventh hour".

Everyone was silent. I didn't know whether my words today were digestible. I didn't know whether my message today was delivered or pending or come to the worst, failed to deliver. 

I wish my heart is transparent so that they know how much I care of them. I must be strong till the end of this battle to make them realize that SPM is not a yes-no issue. I want them to know that SPM examination is the beginning of the future that they have to treasure in their life. 

Good luck to my beloved students. 

Lord...hear my prayer

I can only visit her world without any permission from her because both of us are not registered to each other. I can only see her through some of the pictures uploaded to her world. I can only see her children are growing up handsomely and beautifully from the world that she has now. Only God knows how much I miss her after all the living memory that we had woven in our life all this while. 

     If only we can turn back the time, what would we do to make this close-knit relationship remains forever? Would everything goes smoothly as we would like it to be? Would you and I can be shoulders to each other? Only God knows the answers to my doubt...

     Dear my beloved cuzzie. I always believe that anything happened, they happen for reasons...yet sometimes i can't believe it happens to you and I and I fail to see the reasons that cause this to you and I go astray. I wish I can turn back the time so that you and I are always like before. It's a great loss to me as you are no longer in my life. Only God knows how much I miss you...

     You are always in my prayer. I have a strong faith that one day God will listen to my prayer. I pray that we can rewind our living memory and make it better than yesterday. Let yesterday be the history. Let us forget the yesterday. Let us fill our hearts today with love. I will always wait for the day to come because I believe God will do the best plans for you and I.