DREAMS

I really love my career as a teacher. An English language teacher, to be specific. Since my secondary school time, i had always dream to become a teacher one day. Yes! I am a teacher now. I have achieved my ambition after all my effort and the hard work in the study.
Frankly speaking, I believe that dream is very vital in helping us to succeed in our life. I vouch this statement based on my experience. When i was young, i had a lot of dreams. Traveling out of Limbang, going to University (that time i didn't know which uni i would like to go), having good job with high salary, and most of all to buy all the things that i like, just to mention some of them. So, these were my dreams before. Just imagine, when i was still in my salad days, i had already learn to dream. By that time, i had already learnt about  ANGAN-ANGAN MAT JENIN too...

I hate fever

I am not feeling well today.I hate it when I have fever and sore throat. It could be due to my activity lately. Time constraint is one of the excuses for not having any exercise. It's been a month of not going to the park. So, it has been a month too that i didn't have my brisk walking activity. Wow! I feel heavier and heavier. I stopped my brisk walking in the park was because i thought i was expecting due to my late period.

Prayer of Husband and Wife

  O God, Michael and I want to live our life together with you and always to continue with you. Help us never to hurt and never to grieve each other.

  Help us to share all our work, all our hopes, all our dreams, all our successes and all our failures, all our sorrows and all our joys. 

  Help us to keep no secrets from each other so that we may be truly one. Keep us always true to each other, and grant that all years ahead may draw us ever closer to each other.

  Grant that nothing happen may ever come between us and nothing may ever make us drift apart. And as we live with each other , help us to live with you, so that our love may grow perfect in your love, for you are the God whose name is love.

  This we ask for your love's sake. Amen.

You may click this link 

The Solemnisation Of Marriage  

The History of You and I...

This is the man whom I met in 2007 on 29th September. It was on my sister's engagement day. He was late on that day. So, 29092007 was the first time that we saw each other. By that time, frankly speaking, we didn't know each other names and smiles were our first greeting. The meeting was a one-off only. Right after my sister's engagement, I heard a lot about this guy. Styles, jokes, and kindness just to name a few. It was not me who wanted to know about him purposely, just that I always be somewhere with the people who talked or mentioned his name. I laughed a lot when people quoted his jokes. He is a natural joker. He looks serious, but actually he is a great joker who is able to make I laugh with tears rolling down my reddish cheeks.

 Months towards the end of 2007 were more to an experience knowing him. Sometime we talked to each other via my sister's hp because he phoned to my bro-in-law. I didn't know why must we chipped in through others' phone number. I still remember when he asked about meals and I asked him to belanja me with 2 plates of kolomee heheheee....It was Morris and Lenny's wedding day at Batu 9 longhouse. I attended the wedding with my parents as Lenny is my mum's cousin sister-in-law. He was there too, but it was nothing to do with me. I didn't care of his presence at all. When he sang a karaoke song, my bro-in-law and the fiancee told me that he was singing there. Why must people tell me about him when he has nothing to do with my life. Don't you feel funny when people keep on reminding you about someone? Next occasion in Batu 9 that i ever attended was Maria and Romeo's wedding day. I met him again but we didn't talk at all. As usual, smiles were the only greeting that we could give to each other. He offered his help to accompany us to have our dinner as we arrived after the dinner time. By this time, I could feel something weird or something fishy. Benjamin (bro-in-law) is somehow a teaser too even though he is a bit serious. I would never forget when Ben said "Nya Mok, nya cikgu deh. Bejaku aaarrr...lagi nanya ari telepon aku aja dk ila" (Mok, that is the teacher. Go and talk to her. Otherwise you will keep on asking me about her via my phone later). Oh my God...what a statement! I was shy at all because there were other people with us that time. I didn't dare to look at him. I could feel he was shy too, so he walked to the kitchen. Cover malu kot hhehee...My mum asked about it actually that night, just that I pretended to ignore her doubt.. However, I didn't feel irritated at all. Why? I don't know. Next encounter was while we had our minum-minum occasion at ruai. There were a group of 'squids' attending the wedding ceremony - they were the bride's friends. I didn't know what had triggered my shyness. I was next to him and challenged him to dance with the 'squids'.That was not brave of me but I did it!!!! Idiot! But gossip about us had already on air before that. Yet, it didn't bother me at all. Why? I didn't know why but I made a conclusion from the gossip maybe because both of us were too cute to be paired of hehehee. He sent me few sms-es but were not replied. I was too full with ignorance! There are reasons behind all my ignorance. It happens when you are afraid of being hurt emotionally. :) His sms-es were only answered started on 3rd January 2008 (Sunday 6.30pm)...This was the beginning of our relationship. Too sweet to be remembered. But I love to remember it.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word...

Frankly speaking, it is very hard for me to start my so-called diary writing today. I feel so emotional and whenever he hugs me, my tears rolling down my cheek. Even when I type this post now, I can feel the drizzling tears on my cheek. I am very lucky for he is here with me.

Misunderstanding in a relationship is not a new issue in one marriage. No matter how perfect is your marriage, there will be times where you and your partner may come to some misunderstanding. Be it due to financial, social life or jealousy. Undeniable misunderstanding. Everyone hopes not to have this misunderstanding in his or her marriage as it influences the feeling and emotion. But, we are only flesh and blood. Misunderstanding in a marriage is part and parcel of the life. It is an experience from an experiment! Yes, an experiment. I feel it is an experiment especially in the early years of the marriage. This is the stage where both of the partner start to show the true colors of each other. The true colors here do not mean something negative, you may look at the colors positively. So each one of us does have the true colors in our self. It is only the matter of what colors that you have in you and how the colors are significant to you.

Of  ten months becoming husband and wife, I slightly realized that marriage is a tough and challenging task for both of us. But, do not misunderstood my statement here! What i mean with challenging is when we have our own true colors and we have to adapt ourself with that colour so that misunderstanding can be avoided. It's not easy but this is what marriage reality offers us as husband and wife.

Forgive and forget are very important in dealing with misunderstanding in our marriage. Learning to forgive is not easy as we are born with ego. Some people say that ego is our pride.No matter what the definition is, acquiring the to-forgive skill is very vital in a relationship. To forgive is when you have to say sorry and feel sorry at the same time. We can't forgive by saying it only - merely saying it in order to let people know that you are kind for you have forgiven someone. Sometime we could not make our sincere sorry because we don't want the matter to get worse. But this is not forgiving. The recurrence of misunderstanding is at a high possibility when we forgive by mouth only and not from the heart. To feel sorry is when you have to regret with all your wrongdoings towards someone. Next is to forget. People say that what ever moments you have experienced, they will be your living memory.  

I am so sad now. I really want to cry. I feel that I really want to cry. It hurts me a lot. Is God telling me about this person's true colors?

What would you feel when someone who is important in your life hurt you? Is this part of a revenge?

I try to accept your words with open heart and mind. I just let it be the way you want it to be. I am fine with this. Go ahead with that.

L.I.N.D.A

L

LOYAL, LOVING, LOVEABLE

  I

IMPRESSIVE, IMAGINATIVE, INTRINSIC

 

N

NATURAL, NEAT, NOVICE

 

 

  D

DELIGHTFUL, DEVOTED, DYNAMIC

 

 

A

ACTIVE, ADMIRABLE, ADVENTUROUS

 

  L.I.N.D.A

16.03.1982

Piscesian

 

 

Drama of the day.

Setting

20101007 (Thursday)

12.10pm-12.50pm

Classroom Form 5

Crowded

Characters

Teacher

31 students

Today's lesson was well-prepared and carried out perfectly as it had been planned. Students' participation demotivated me at all. Some were very responsive and some were giving me their polka-dots face. Some were on the ways to 'heaven' - slumbering. At this moment I really wanted to burst my tears. I could feel all the hard work is not paid off when only few who were interested listening to your explanation.The rest were happy entertaining their own hobbies - talking and playing.

"Class, I have to be frank with all of you. It is not my intention to put more stress to your life or pressure to your hectic schedule as excellent students. I have to mention this to all of you because I care of you. But I know, who am I to care of you? We are not brothers or sisters. But I can't deny myself from taking care of you all because I love all of you. I want all of you to be able to become a whole person in the future. SPM is around the corner! Please appreciate all the efforts given by your teachers. They want you to get flying colors in your coming exam. Please stop entertaining your sleepy eyes. You don't have enough time to play around and study at the eleventh hour".

Everyone was silent. I didn't know whether my words today were digestible. I didn't know whether my message today was delivered or pending or come to the worst, failed to deliver. 

I wish my heart is transparent so that they know how much I care of them. I must be strong till the end of this battle to make them realize that SPM is not a yes-no issue. I want them to know that SPM examination is the beginning of the future that they have to treasure in their life. 

Good luck to my beloved students. 

Lord...hear my prayer

I can only visit her world without any permission from her because both of us are not registered to each other. I can only see her through some of the pictures uploaded to her world. I can only see her children are growing up handsomely and beautifully from the world that she has now. Only God knows how much I miss her after all the living memory that we had woven in our life all this while. 

     If only we can turn back the time, what would we do to make this close-knit relationship remains forever? Would everything goes smoothly as we would like it to be? Would you and I can be shoulders to each other? Only God knows the answers to my doubt...

     Dear my beloved cuzzie. I always believe that anything happened, they happen for reasons...yet sometimes i can't believe it happens to you and I and I fail to see the reasons that cause this to you and I go astray. I wish I can turn back the time so that you and I are always like before. It's a great loss to me as you are no longer in my life. Only God knows how much I miss you...

     You are always in my prayer. I have a strong faith that one day God will listen to my prayer. I pray that we can rewind our living memory and make it better than yesterday. Let yesterday be the history. Let us forget the yesterday. Let us fill our hearts today with love. I will always wait for the day to come because I believe God will do the best plans for you and I.

You are always in my eyes....

My hubby's eyes when he sees me........

My eyes when i see him.........

(censored sentence completion)

Michael: Honey, I miss you.

Lynda: Hubby, I miss you too.

We have the same expression when we miss each other

03012008 in memory

He is my best friend because he is always there for me. During my ups and downs he will never let me alone leaving me with all the misery. He will talk nicely and cool me down so that I am not totally influenced by my own emotion. He gives advices on what I should do and vice versa.  He will listen to my problems lending me his ears and sometime he gives me his shoulder for me to cry on. Every time he hugs me and wipes my tears I will always thank God for sending me this person. The way he loves me makes me like a princess everyday. His honesty and sincere heart in accepting all my flaws are the values that I treasure the most. Knowing him more has given me the chance to love him more and more. It started from a simple text messaging where i cursed him a lot. But i never knew that the message has sparked the light of our love story. I wish I still can keep all the messages before...It was not easy to let other person comes into your heart when you ever failed in a relationship. But this person is totally different from what i have thought of before. He is the one who raises me up from all of my sadness and he asked me not to indulge myself in all the misery - past years misery. I believe God has sent me this person as my guidance to turn to a new leaf. I can feel God's love through this person. His presence is a miracle in my life.

All about myself....

It's been 'donkey ages' of not updating anything in my own blog. I ever promised to update this blog as frequent as i can, but time constraint is always my major problem especially when you are working in a new school where a lot of accomplishments to be concerned of; namely in academic and co-curriculum. this is only to name a few of it. beside my private life i have to juggle the hat everyday and most important is to juggle it wisely. due to this hectic life, sometime i tend to ignore (or the accurate word is neglect)my own time management. i just do everything that i want to do without looking at what i have planned. in the end, i don't do it. this is because i don't know where to start and how to start. i hate myself sometime as i fail to lead myself. this is not a very good attitude actually. i learn a lot from my husband especially when comes to time management. he plans his to-do activities nicely and put remark for everything he has done. i wish i can follow his way...i always say i wish...i never say i will be....that is linda...